caregiver burnout | Hospice, Palliative & Home Health Care In Southern California

You finally scheduled the respite stay. Your loved one is settled. The house is quieter than it has been in months. And then a strange thing happens.

You don’t know what to do with yourself.

Most caregivers expect to feel relief. Many feel something closer to disorientation. The constant pull on your attention is gone, and the silence can feel uncomfortable before it feels good. If you have been running on caffeine, half meals, and broken sleep, your body may not know how to land yet.

This guide is here to help. Sleep is part of it. But if you sleep for five days straight, you may come back rested and still feel like the same person who left. The point of respite is not only to recover. It is important to remember who you are outside of caregiving.

Here are seven things worth considering, none of which require you to leave town or spend a lot of money. (For background on how respite works under Medicare, see Caregivers Need a Break Too: Understanding Respite Care.)

1. Schedule the Medical Care You’ve Been Postponing

Caregivers are notorious for skipping their own appointments. Mammograms, dental cleanings, eye exams, and the strange ache that has been there for months. The body keeps the list even when you stop reading it.

Use part of your respite to:

Get a physical or a long-overdue check-in with your doctor
See the dentist
Refill your own prescriptions
Book the bloodwork, scan, or screening you’ve been putting off

You cannot pour from an empty cup. You also cannot pour from a cup that has not been checked for cracks in two years.

2. Move Your Body in a Way That Feels Good

You do not need a fitness plan. You need movement that reminds your body it is yours.

Try one of these, based on what feels right:

A slow walk through a familiar neighborhood
Gentle stretching, yoga, or tai chi
Swimming, even just floating
A short hike on a flat trail
Dancing in your kitchen

Even twenty minutes of movement can lift the heavy, locked feeling that comes from sitting beside a hospital bed or watching monitors for weeks. If your back, shoulders, or knees have been protesting from lifting and transferring, gentle movement is often more healing than total stillness.

3. Reconnect With One Person Who Makes You Feel Like Yourself

Caregiving has a way of shrinking your world. You may have noticed that your circle has narrowed to medical professionals, your loved one, and one or two patient family members. That is normal, and it is also not sustainable.

Pick one person and reach out. Not the friend you owe a long explanation to, just one person who knows you well enough that the conversation can start in the middle.

It might look like:

Lunch with a friend you have not seen in months
A long phone call with a sibling
Coffee with a former coworker
A walk with a neighbor who has been quietly checking on you

You do not have to update them on every detail of caregiving. In fact, try not to. Talk about a movie, a memory, anything that reminds you that you are still you.

4. Spend Time Outside

Sunlight, fresh air, and being near something green or blue do measurable things to the nervous system. Sitting in a sunlit window is good. Sitting in a park is better.

In Southern California, you have options most of the year:

A morning at the beach, even just to listen to the waves
A bench in a botanical garden
A walk along a city trail
A quiet patio with a cup of coffee and no phone

If you cannot get out for long, ten minutes in the backyard barefoot still counts. The goal is not productivity. It is reorientation.

5. Do Something With Your Hands That Has Nothing to Do With Caregiving

Caregiving is constant, attentive work. So is its opposite: a hobby that asks for nothing from you except presence.

Pick something tactile and unrelated to medication schedules:

Cook a meal for yourself, slowly, from a recipe you used to love
Garden, repot a plant, or pull weeds
Paint, draw, knit, sew, or do a puzzle
Repair something around the house
Play an instrument, even badly

You are not trying to be good at it. You are trying to remember that your hands can do something other than measure pills, change bedding, and steady someone you love.

6. Talk to Someone Neutral About What You’re Carrying

Family and friends love you. They also know your loved one. Sometimes you need a person whose only job is to listen without grief of their own attached.

That person can be:

A therapist or licensed counselor
A hospice social worker, who is trained to support caregivers, not just patients
A chaplain or spiritual care provider, available regardless of your faith background
A caregiver support group, in person or online

If you have been holding emotions back so the household can keep functioning, respite is a safe place to let some of that out. The hospice team is already part of your circle of support. You can also explore bereavement and emotional support services, which are available before a loss, not only after.

This is not a weakness. It is maintenance.

7. Take Care of One Practical Thing That’s Been Weighing on You

Most caregivers have a mental list of “things I should be doing if I weren’t doing this.” Bills, mail, taxes, paperwork, advance care planning, the will that needs updating, the box of photos no one has sorted.

Pick one item. Just one.

Common examples:

Sort the medical bills and call about anything that looks wrong
Update your own advance directive, living will, or POLST
File the insurance claim that has been sitting on the counter
Schedule the appointment with the estate attorney
Clean out one small drawer that has been bothering you

Finishing one practical thing during respite can quiet a part of your mind that has been running in the background for weeks. The trick is not to do everything. The trick is to choose one thing small enough to actually finish, and to let the rest wait.

And If You Just Want to Do Nothing? That’s Allowed Too.

Some caregivers spend their first respite in pajamas with the curtains closed, ordering food and watching old movies. That is a complete and acceptable use of the time. There is no productivity standard for rest.

If guilt shows up (and it usually does), remember this: respite is not time off from caring. It is part of the care plan. Your loved one is being looked after by a team that does this every day. Your job for these few days is to come back with more of yourself to give.

Quick FAQ

How long is a typical respite stay? Under the Medicare Hospice Benefit, respite can last up to five consecutive days at a time, and it can be used more than once during your loved one’s hospice enrollment.
Can I visit my loved one during respite? Yes. Most families visit. The change is that you are present as a family member, not as the on-call medical caregiver.
What if I feel guilty taking respite? Guilt is one of the most common responses, and it does not mean you are doing something wrong. Respite is built into hospice care precisely because caregiver well-being is part of patient well-being.
What other levels of care does hospice offer? Respite is one of the four levels of hospice care defined by Medicare. The others are routine home care, continuous home care, and general inpatient care.

You’re Allowed to Come Back Rested

The most useful thing you can do during respite is not finish a project or clear a to-do list. It is to return to your loved one as more of yourself. More patient. More present. More able to notice the small moments that are still possible.

If you are considering respite care for the first time, the Acacia hospice team can walk you through how to schedule it, what to expect, and how it fits into your loved one’s plan of care. Call (800) 993-9391 or request care online.

You have been carrying a lot. It is okay to set part of it down, briefly, on purpose.

Respite care is one of the four levels of hospice care covered under the Medicare Hospice Benefit. It provides family caregivers with a temporary break, typically up to five consecutive days, while the hospice patient receives supervised care in a contracted inpatient facility. Respite care is not a last resort. It is a planned, supported pause that helps caregivers rest, recover, and return to their loved one with more capacity to give.

There is a particular kind of exhaustion that builds quietly over months of caregiving. It does not announce itself. It shows up as shorter patience, broken sleep, missed meals, and the sense that you cannot step away for even an hour without something going wrong. It looks like love, and it is, but it is also a signal that you are running low on something you cannot afford to lose.

If you are caring for a loved one on hospice and you have reached this place, there is something built into the hospice benefit specifically for you. It is called respite care, and it exists because the people who created hospice understood that caregivers need support too.

What Respite Care Is

Respite care is one of the four levels of hospice care defined by Medicare. It is designed to give primary family caregivers a short but meaningful break from the demands of round-the-clock caregiving.

During a respite stay, your loved one is admitted to a Medicare-approved inpatient facility, such as a skilled nursing facility or inpatient hospice unit, for a period of up to five consecutive days. While they are there, they continue to receive all the care that is part of their hospice plan, including nursing support, aide assistance, and symptom management. The hospice team stays involved and coordinated throughout.

You do not stop being their caregiver during this time. You step back temporarily so you can come back stronger.

What Medicare Covers for Respite Care

Under the Medicare Hospice Benefit, respite care is a covered service. Medicare pays for the inpatient facility stay, up to five consecutive days per respite period. There may be a small patient copay, which is typically a modest percentage of the Medicare-approved amount for the inpatient respite stay.

Respite can be used more than once during the course of a hospice enrollment. It is not a one-time benefit. Families can request it as needs arise throughout the care journey.

Learn more: What Medicare Covers in Hospice Care (And What It Doesn’t)

What Happens to Your Loved One During Respite Care

This is the question most caregivers ask first, and it is the right one.

During a respite stay, your loved one is admitted to a contracted inpatient facility where they receive continuous nursing supervision, personal care from trained aides, and ongoing symptom management. The hospice care team remains in coordination with the facility to ensure the plan of care is followed consistently and that any changes in condition are addressed promptly.

Your loved one is not placed in a general hospital ward or left without familiar support. The respite facility is part of the hospice network and operates under the same comfort-focused philosophy.

You can visit during the respite period. Most families do. The difference is that the moment-to-moment caregiving responsibility is lifted so you can be present as a family member rather than as a full-time medical caregiver.

Signs It May Be Time to Ask for Respite

There is no threshold you have to reach before respite care becomes appropriate. You do not have to be in crisis. You do not have to be failing. But there are signs worth paying attention to.

Consider asking about respite if you are experiencing any of the following:

Physical exhaustion that sleep alone is not resolving
Disrupted sleep from nighttime caregiving demands over an extended period
Mounting anxiety or emotional overwhelm that feels hard to manage day to day
Difficulty attending to your own health needs, including appointments, medications, or basic self-care
A family event, travel, or obligation that requires you to be away
A sense that you are approaching a breaking point and want to get ahead of it before it arrives

None of these make you a less devoted caregiver. They make you a human being carrying a significant weight, and recognizing when to set it down briefly is one of the most responsible things you can do, both for yourself and for the person you are caring for.

How Respite Care Fits Into the Bigger Picture of Hospice Support

Respite care is part of what makes hospice different from other types of care. From the beginning, hospice is designed to support the family unit, not only the patient.

That support takes many forms beyond respite. The hospice care services team includes skilled nurses, home health aides, social workers, chaplains, and volunteer support, all working together to reduce the burden on families while honoring the patient’s comfort and dignity. Understanding the full scope of what is available to your family can change how this period feels.

How to Request Respite Care

Requesting respite care is straightforward. You do not need a physician’s order to ask the question. You simply contact your hospice care team and let them know you are interested in scheduling a respite stay.

The hospice team will:

Confirm your loved one’s eligibility and identify an appropriate contracted facility
Coordinate the admission and transfer of care
Communicate the plan of care to the receiving facility
Stay in contact throughout the stay and coordinate the return home

There is no formal application process and no reason to wait until things feel urgent. Respite care is most useful when it is planned rather than reactive.

If you are not sure how to start that conversation, your hospice social worker is a good first point of contact. Social workers are trained to help families navigate exactly this kind of moment, practically and emotionally.

What to Do With Your Respite Time

Some caregivers use respite time to sleep, attend their own medical appointments, or manage household tasks that have piled up. Others use it to spend time with other family members, travel briefly, or simply sit in a quiet space without the weight of immediate responsibility.

There is no correct way to spend respite time. The only goal is that you come back more rested than you left.

If the emotional side of caregiving has been weighing on you beyond the physical demands, it may also be worth exploring bereavement and emotional support services that are available through hospice. These resources are not only for after a loss. They are available to families throughout the hospice journey, including right now.

You Are Part of the Care Team Too

Hospice care is built around a simple truth: when a family caregiver is depleted, the whole care system feels it. Your wellbeing is not separate from your loved one’s care. It is part of it.

Respite care exists to honor that truth. It is not a workaround or a last resort. It is a designed, covered, and fully supported part of the hospice benefit, and it is available to you.

If you are wondering whether now is the right time, that question alone may be your answer. Call us at (800) 993-9391 or contact us here.

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Brent D.

3 weeks ago

I cannot express enough gratitude for the incredible care provided by the hospice team at Acacia Hospice. During a deeply challenging time, they brought an immense sense of comfort, dignity, and peace to our family.A very special thank you to Veronica Solem and her team. Veronica is a true blessing—her profound compassion, professionalism, and gentle guidance made a world of difference. She didn't just care for our loved one's physical needs; she truly supported our entire family emotionally. The responsiveness, kindness, and dedication shown by Veronica and her team went above and beyond anything we could have hoped for.If you are looking for a team that treats your family like their own with the utmost respect and empathy, I highly recommend Acacia Hospice. Thank you, Veronica, for being our rock.

KRISTY E.

4 weeks ago

Wow. Our intake with Willian & Janice at the Veterans Hospital was so nurturing and simple. They were so pleasant to work with for our father’s transition. The transportation team was remarkable. And the equipment specialist were above and beyond. Soon after we got home Lance visited to get us started and he was so patient, compassionate and thorough. Each person educated us on the process the entire time. Given the circumstances, we felt grateful and reassured. 10/10 Highly recommend.

John F.

1 month ago

Acacia took wonderful care of my mother, and our family is truly grateful. Their nurses showed real professionalism and understanding, always taking the time to listen and adjust to what she needed. The administrative team was just as strong—organized, patient, and easy to reach whenever we had questions. It’s never easy navigating hospice care, but Acacia made the experience far less stressful and gave us confidence that she was in good hands.

Diana C.

2 months ago

I would recommend Acacia Hospic they help me and my family with my father. They were very professional caring thank you Diana Canary

Jeanette W.

Acacia provided excellent hospice care for an elderly friend. The nurses and support personnel were attentive to both patient and family/friends. They are professional, caring, respectful, and listened well to our questions and concerns. Acacia also coordinated seamlessly with the skilled nursing staff. Thank you!

Carol R.

Tania G.

Acacia Hospice provided truly amazing care for my grandmother and our family. The entire team was always there when we needed them, showing so much compassion and support. A special thank you to her RN Yesenia, who went above and beyond in every way. She became like family to us, and my grandmother truly loved her. Thank you as well to her LVN Melina and Nurse Martha for also going above and beyond with taking such good care of her. My grandmother passed on May 29, 2026, and we will forever be grateful for the love and care they gave her during such a difficult time.

Sheila H.

2 years ago

My family had such a wonderful experience with Acacia Home Health for the last few years as my mother who is 93 has been on palliative care for advanced pulmonary hypertension and COPD. Acacia has sent us a variety of fantastic nurses, physical therapists, social workers and specialists for respiratory and wound care. Acacia arranged for us to have x-rays, blood draws and outstanding urgent care at our home. We have been able to call them at any hour for advice. Their case managers and management are absolutely wonderful. We have experienced that they are very caring and they always treat my mother and me (the caregiver) as very important. They have helped us to get all of the equipment that mom needs. They answer all of our questions (sometimes doing research to find answers for us) on a variety of topics. We will be forever grateful to Acacia and their wonderful employees!

Faith N.

3 years ago

My mom was a patient on service. She passed in January 2023. The Hospice and Palliative teams went above and beyond. They were an excellent resource to our family. I reside on the East and had to communicate via phone and text while I went back and forth. Toward the end I had comfort in knowing she had a great team at her side. Thank you.

Senior P.

4 years ago

Acacia Hospice has been a great partner for our company over the years helping families and providing care and assistance at a moments notice. The staff is always available, warm, knowledgable and friendly. They perform calm and detail oriented in high pressure and often emotional settings. if your loved family member needs this service Acacia is the way to go.

Greg F.

Manuela is a kind hearted person that knows how to work with women that have dimensia. She persists through the scratching, and other unpleasant rantings that can accompany these types of patients. She is truly a blessing! To not mention how good the others who have come to my house and help me with my wife is a mistake. Sheryl the nurse practitioner and Mark the physical therapist were also excellent!

Fern T.

5 years ago

Acacia's people have made taking care of my aging parent so much easier and less stressful. They are well-trained and professional, and I am very thankful for their support.

Steve K.

Acacia Hospice has been a life saver for my mom. Having mom with late stage severe dementia has been most difficult on all of our family members but especially hard on my 86 years old father. Thank You Acacia Hospice !!! Words can describe the how grateful we are with the nurses and caregivers that we have from Acacia Hospice Care. You guys are the reason why we are able have my mom at home. Thank You 🙏. God bless you guys.

Miranda M.

It goes without saying that if you need Acacia Hospice you are experiencing a challenging phase of life. However, Acacia has done all they can to make the experience easier on my family. We have appreciated and found comfort in all of the nurses, have been educated and supported by them as well. If we need medical equipment we get it promptly with no issues. We did not know anything about hospice care before recently, and we are so glad to know Acacia is there for people in these tough spots.

Sherri F.

6 years ago

Acacia provided nursing care for my mom in 2019 when she was ill, and we were so pleased with the care she received that we reached out to Acacia in 2020 when my mom now needed Hospice services, and we are so grateful for all that Acacia did for my mom prior to her passing. All of the staff members at Acacia were wonderful and caring, and we were especially fond of Rosemary, who provided such loving nursing care for my mom. The staff members at Acacia were readily available and extremely responsive to all of our requests for supplies, medication and more. We would highly recommend both Acacia's Home Healthcare Services as well as their Hospice Services. Thank you again for taking such loving care of my mother.

Cynthia M.

I knew I was in excellent hands when I met & discussed my 81-yr-old "sweetheart's" care, Victor, with Peter. After 3 other experiences in prior hospices compared to working with Acacia, I was so assured by Peter's solid knowledge of the industry, various options of care provided at Acacia & his knowledge about other facilities. He answered each need we had with the highest professionalism and integrity. Peter & the entire Acacia team facilitated what would be a difficult transition for Victor. Acacia outshines them all in responsiveness to patients' needs, always treating the patient with dignity and humanity while securing resources to suit patient. I experienced their quality level of care while being Victor's caregiver. Acacia works in the interest of the patient & deferred admitting Victor to Acacia at a time when he was so ill that former hospice MD predicted certain death. Victor lived & I immediately admitted him to Acacia which was a very smooth transition, compared to others previously. I am so grateful for the social worker's, at Alzheimer's Family Center, referral to Acacia, who recommended Acacia as being the best hospice facility in O.C. I couldn't agree more! Any caregiver/family member won't regret their choice of Acacia!

Darcy R.

Acacia Hospice has been a life saver for us! We were unfamiliar with everything hospice offers but Peter quickly educated us. After our first phone call he responded immediately and had a medical bed delivered to us within hours of first speaking to him. Additionally, he arranged for our loved one to be brought home from the hospital in an ambulance the next day and had a nurse waiting when she arrived home. I’ve never seen such quick response time! The nurse, Jennifer, has been incredible getting all the meds coordinated and educating the caregivers on how to manage everything. I would highly recommend Acacia after our wonderful experience with them! Having such friendly and helpful people has been a true blessing during this difficult time.

P. S.

My 94 year old mother reached a point in her life when she needed hospice care. Carmel Village in Fountain Valley recommended Acacia Hospice. Right away I knew we had made the right choice. Peter Martinez was our representative and he made all the arrangements for care and equipment. He communicated each step being taken and always followed up. He and his team were always available to answer questions and offer support. Acacia Hospice is the finest choice for hospice care and I highly recommend them.

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